She turned to put the instrument away and
returned to her seat. She turned back to the computer again and worked on
finishing up one last assignment. "You know, I have never told anyone
about why I had stopped playing before." Her words whispered soft as she
quickly stole a glance in Faustus's direction before looking back at the screen.
"Thank you, for listening."
"You are welcome, Jane." Faustus
replied. He sighed deeply before continuing. "You have so many good
memories, sometimes I envy you."
She turned and really looked at him, her
eyes furrowed slightly. "You? Envy me?" disbelief was in her tone.
"Why?"
Now it was his turn to be honest, and
Faustus found it extremely difficult. Truth, had never come easy to him unless
it got him something he desired. Being truthful for the sake of it, was new and
it took him a few moments to be able to speak.
"Because, in my experiences, life is
often cruel, dark and cold and one must be all those things to excel at it. I
was so, to get where I was, and I was not above using lies, trickery or even
bribery to get what I wanted. Hence my eventual downfall and this end."
His eyes furrowed slightly as he thought of how to word what he wanted to say
next.
"I spent seven years in the dark,
Jane. Seven years because of that life, that path I walked; with only my own
thoughts for company. Do you have any idea how lonely that is? Seven years.
Then, when I am found, I can't even be lifted from the dark because of my eyes.
It seems that I was cursed to live this way because of what I had done and in a
way, that is true."
Here he paused again, before continuing and
this was extremely painful and hard for him to admit. "I have not one,
single good, happy memory to sustain me, Jane. From my past, not one. I worked,
I lied, I hurt people to get power. Always more power, for that is what I
thought I wanted. Thought it would make me happy."
"And did it?" She asked softly,
watching him, listening as he spoke.
"Obviously not, because it was never
enough." Faustus replied. "Can you imagine, seven years locked away
in the dark with nothing, not even a happy memory to fall back on? To think
about to pass the time. So yes, Jane. In this, I envy you. You might have
memories that are sad as well as happy, but at least you have them. I--I have
nothing." His words were so soft by this point, and he sounded disgusted
with himself and even a bit distraught. It tugged at Jane's heart, to hear him
speak in such a way, and that caught her off-guard as well.
She was silent a moment, thinking of how to
reply to such words. Her eyes trying to catch his as he had looked away from
her as he had spoken.
"Well, you might not have had those
memories then, but you can start and make them now." She ventured softly,
which caused Faustus to raise his eyes back to hers questionably. "Sure,
you can't really leave the room we are now in, but at least you aren't in the
dark anymore, twice over at least now that you can see again."
She bit her lip and shook her head. "I
promised you. Never in the dark again, and I meant it, Faustus. Take what you
have just said and learn from it. You want better memories, make them. You want
a brighter future for yourself, let go of the past and change the way you look
at things. I promise, it is as simple as that, but once you change your
outlook, the rest will follow in time"
A soft sigh echoed from them both as Jane
finished speaking and Faustus looked at her again with a type of awe in his
eyes.
"How do you do it?" He asked
softly.
"Do what?"
"Live....each day, with this type of
passion? Isn't it exhausting?"
"Only when I am around you." She
teased and smiled, laughing softly to show she was teasing. "No, it gets
easier. One day at a time."
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