Dorian at Lux

(Crossover with Lucifer and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)

Faustus was getting off his face at Lux, which had become somewhat of a regular activity for him. The atmosphere here invigorated him, a mild contrast to the relatively staid Gray Room back in Connecticut.

Dorian would like it here, he mused. Beautiful people, hedonism, and revelry. Ever since they'd moved to Greendale, Dorian had developed a tendency to take himself too seriously. They both had. It would be good for Dorian, Faustus thought, to get out of his head and meet some new, beautiful people. What was Los Angeles if not a town full of debauchery and beautiful people?

Of course, there were two beautiful people in particular Faustus didn't want Dorian to meet: the relatively newly-wed Morningstars.

Faustus had already found himself in hot water with the Greendale Dark Lord, who had resurrected him from certain death that he might marry the-- forgive us-- bewitching Freya Hew. He had done so, as bidden, and yet.... 

Los Angeles Lucifer was charming beyond all imagining. Shockingly, Faustus had found that he and Lucifer had quite a lot in common, and Faustus had even recently taken to wearing sharp three-piece suits, though he retained his fashionably old-fashioned frilly shirts. They enjoyed the same music, food, and drinks, although Faustus was-- also shockingly-- a lightweight. Faustus and Freya both had been hesitant to believe that this... embodiment of the hedonism inherent in stereotypical Southern California was who he claimed to be, but one night, soon after they'd met, Lucifer had revealed his "devil face", a face truly fit for the punisher of the denizens of Hell, to Faustus in a fit of rage. Faustus had all but claimed devotion to him on the spot, so awed had he been... and... was that before or after Lucifer had also revealed his angelic wings? Like the Dark Lord, Lucifer had also had his wings shorn off, but evidently, angels subconsciously self-actualized, meaning that whether or not Lucifer was fallen depended on how he felt about himself. To Freya's consternation, Faustus had become increasingly fascinated by, and infatuated with, Lucifer.

When the Dark Lord found out, months later, about Faustus's obvious crush, he had not been pleased. He had reminded Faustus of the terms of his continued chance at life. The meaning was clear: No sleeping with Lucifer without Freya's permission; no forsaking the Dark Lord to pledge fealty to Lucifer. (The Dark Lord did not know, not did he need to know, that Lucifer had already turned Faustus down on both counts.) So the two of them had been relegated to friendship, which Faustus tried not to think of as "mere friendship". They had become quite close; they enjoyed each other's company and were often playing card or board games in the background of whatever was going on with their new circle of friends.

Many of that circle assumed Faustus's infatuation with Lucifer was of a sexual nature, due to his treacherous body's unfortunate habit of releasing seed the moment Lucifer flashed a hint of his... punisher's form. Was Faustus attracted to power? Yes, certainly. Was an affluent man who had retained his angelic abilities and forged connections with mortals everywhere he went, rather than isolating himself in an underworld with only his demonic servants, more powerful than Faustus had imagined the devil could possibly be? Naturally. Yet, more than that, they were good friends-- best friends, if Faustus could be so bold. Faustus simply enjoyed spending time with him, and would have liked to express the affection he felt without worrying about their jealous wives. The Dark Lord, of course, had no inkling just how deep Faustus's adoration of his friend ran, but appeared to be deeply invested in Faustus's sexual loyalty to the new Lady Blackwood. Faustus was disinclined to allow Dorian, who had no loyalty to anyone other than himself, to witness such a thing, lest he report back to the Dark Lord.

Just before the summer had met the autumn, Lucifer had gotten married to a maddeningly gorgeous, unnecessarily clingy, strumpet of a thing. To be frank, our Mrs. Morningstar was a drag queen, but a natural-looking one, feminine to an absolute fault-- emphasis on the "fault", as far as Faustus was concerned. Lucifer had, for some reason, been oddly protective of this limber creature for as long as Faustus had known them. They had married less than a month after they'd met, too soon in many people's opinion. She had a nasty habit of rubbing her clinginess, and Lucifer's protectiveness of her, in Faustus's face. Worse, the two of them had a wholly open marriage, and the missus brazenly coveted her own best friend, hulking beefcake Trent Maddock. She had openly had liaisons with Trent, Trent's fiancée Rebecca Bunch, their boyfriend Nathaniel Plimpton, Nate's boyfriend George Green, a nosy and pretentious vampire named Xander Byfrost (who claimed to be straight), Xander's cute demon girlfriend Mazikeen, Trent's sister Catherine, and Cat's girlfriend Helena Freebush. In fact, it seemed as though the only people Serena hadn't slept with were Freya and Faustus themselves. A nauseating thought, especially considering that Lucifer had confided, to Nate, that he had protected Serena's life and virginity since she was in college, the latter until Trent had deigned to sleep with her. Ridiculous. Worse, Serena was an addict, to sex and other things, and was now getting paid for her promiscuity!

Yes, Lux had become a bawdy house, so to speak, and Faustus was not overly eager to introduce his revel of a one-time lover to such a place. Not only might he tattle to the Dark Lord about how Faustus seemed to covet Lucifer to the point of deeply envying Mrs. Morningstar, but he might even-- forgive us-- fall under the spell of that blasted wife herself! For Serena was many unpleasant things, but what she was most of all was beautiful, in drag and out, and Dorian prized beauty above all else. Worse, everyone seemed fascinated by her, including Nathaniel, who had had a bug up his arse when it came to anyone so much as mentioning Freya!

Faustus knew their friends speculated that one of the reasons Faustus was so antagonistic towards Serena was that he was the exception to Serena's seeming policy of shagging anything that moved and could pay her exorbitant fee, including the men who had tried to force themselves on her in college. (One of those men had been hospitalized by Trent, murdered by Xander, and was being tortured by Maze in Hell as we speak.) Preposterous! Faustus was not so petty as to hate a person just because they wouldn't... cater to him! No, the reason Faustus despised Serena was because she had the audacity to be upset about any of her lovers being temporarily unavailable to her, when she was married to a powerful and breathtakingly beguiling ANGEL who gave her the world on a string without her having to so much as lift a finger! He literally carried her around from place to place, fed her, bathed her (yes, Faustus had himself a peek sometimes, what of it?), and let her keep 90% of her $3,200 nightly fee! She had nothing to be upset about, ever! Yet when her vampire went a certain length of time without feeding on her, she spiralled into a deep depression that Trent, Lucifer, and Nathaniel combined couldn't break her out of. Well! So much for Trent being the love of her life, Faustus had thought more than once.

He did, secretly, find it quite amusing that when the Dark Lord had been introduced to their little circle, Serena had immediately climbed into his lap and tried to flirt with him. The Dark Lord, Faustus had noted with satisfaction, made it clear he was having none of that.

Of course, Faustus also wasn't in any particular hurry to introduce Dorian to Freya. She, too, was unmistakably ravishing, though far more chaste and pure, at least where people who weren't Faustus were concerned. Dorian was charming; he might coax her into unspeakable things, and one thing Faustus enjoyed about his wife was her refreshing innocence.

Therefore, it should be easy to imagine Faustus's dismay upon seeing a very familiar head of blond hair in the crowd tonight at Lux. Dorian was dressed impeccably as ever, and appeared to be deep in conversation with Faustus's favorite hedonist. Faustus managed a smile as he strode over to them and clapped Lucifer on the shoulder.

"Lucifer," he slurred. "I see you've met my ex."

Dorian hid a grimace behind his manicured hand. Faustus had certainly changed since moving to California, he thought. Uptight Father Blackwood, who had broken it off with him when he'd learned his first wife, Constance, was pregnant, getting drunk at a nightclub, whose owner he seemed to be friends with? It was unheard of.

"Yes," said Lucifer with his usual genial smile. "Fascinating, really. I knew Oscar Wilde, the author. I never thought I would meet Dorian Gray, the character. I mean, he's such a character!"

"Indeed," Faustus agreed. "Shall I assume Serena's off bawling her eyes out over Xander again?" Tact was not Faustus's strongest suit when he was inebriated. He immediately regretted his words when Lucifer frowned at him.

"Right, then. I'll let you two catch up," Lucifer said, striding away in haste.

"What a tacky fellow," Dorian remarked, "using the name of our Dark Lord as some sort of stage name. Still, he is quite beautiful, isn't he?"

"Oh yes, he's lovely," said Faustus, managing to sound sarcastic, just to throw Dorian off.

"What's wrong? Are you jealous?" Dorian seemed delighted; he had always liked it when Faustus was emotional over him. He expected Faustus to scoff at him, but instead, the priest gave him a thoughtful look.

"Are you attracted to him?" he asked Dorian frankly.

Well. That was a surprising question from the normally buttoned-up priest.

"Why, yes," said Dorian. "He has quite a magnetic presence. It's almost as though one can't help it."

"Yes." Faustus visibly relaxed. "I thought that might be the case. His friends give me such trouble over it, you see, not to mention my new wife."

"Ah, yes. How is the new Lady Blackwood? I've heard she's rather... mm, never mind. I shouldn't share schoolboy gossip with you." Dorian gave Faustus a sly look, but Faustus looked supremely unruffled.

"She is, rather," he confirmed. "Equally lovely, and remarkably self-possessed, considering her innocence when we met. Perhaps as innocent as you were, before Wotton."

Dorian swallowed and his jaw set. The end of his friendship with Lord Henry Wotton was still a sore subject with him.

"Our marriage isn't going as well as she had hoped," Faustus continued. "She feels I've been rather preoccupied with my friend the nightclub owner."

Dorian chuckled. "Not a word about your friend the bar owner?"

Faustus's expression grew yet more solemn. "He has another face."

"Don't we all?"

"His punisher's visage," Faustus clarified, shooting his old friend an annoyed glance. "It's not what you would call beautiful; in fact, you'd probably be horrified. Though my body has quite an embarrassing reaction." He gave Dorian a significant look. "It displeases my wife." He inwardly cringed at himself; why had he just told Dorian that?

Dorian laughed. "I can imagine."

"I'd rather you didn't."

"And if I did?" Dorian's expression turned sultry.

Faustus gave a wry laugh and shook his head. "Freya and I do not have an open marriage, Dorian." He brought his drink to his lips automatically and sipped without tasting. "My days of experimenting with stunningly attractive men are over."

"Cue the dirge," quipped Dorian.

Faustus merely shrugged. "It is what it is. I love my wife. I've no desire to betray her."

Dorian scoffed; he clearly didn't believe Faustus.

"I tell you," Faustus insisted, "I'm a changed man. My very livelihood depends upon it."

"If you say so," said Dorian, looking and sounding-- for the barest split second-- so maddeningly like Lucifer's new spouse that Faustus's jaw twitched in anger.

"Sometimes I really do despise you," he growled.