OCTOBER 5
Braig sat up a bit after waking up in the middle of the night... Unable to sleep... He pushed himself up, and grabbed onto an IV pole and walked with it... Using a rolling table as well... He didn't care if there was a bedpan under the bed, he was going to piss in the toilet like a man. He forced himself into the bathroom down the hall, with both the IV pole and rolling table as his weight bearers.
The painful truth was, he couldn't stand to pee, so, he fell back against the toilet, and leaned against the stall wall to sit and pee... Humiliated by that fact, an the fact he couldn't close the door...
---
Marluxia had wandered through the portal in his office closet quite by chance during one of his periodic roams around Castle Oblivion, which he just checked for upkeep nowadays while spending most of his days in Saïx’s quarters, waiting for the berserker to return from his interminable mission.
All he knew at first was that he and his white silk nightgown were now in quite a different dark room. It took him a few moments to recognise it. He blinked a few times, frowning. Xehanort was passed out on the bed and the bathroom door was open. Not bothering to lift the hem of his gown, Marluxia walked over to the bathroom and gazed dispassionately upon the semi-prone figure of the man he’d assumed had left him. As his eye caught the IV, he realised that Braig had been ill.
Marluxia frowned slightly. Why hadn’t Xehanort told him about this? Clearly he’d known, judging by the fact that he was passed out on the bed.
He shook his head and walked out of the bathroom, starting up the burner, greasing a frying pan and tossing a steak in the microwave to defrost. Then he walked back to the bathroom and scooped Braig up, depositing him on the bed next to Xehanort without commenting on his miserable appearance. He knew his own hair was mussed and the sleeves and hem of his gown were frayed. He also probably smelled like Saïx’s linens, which thought gave him a sense of savage satisfaction.
“I don’t know what you’ve been living off of, since /someone/ apparently /forgot/ to tell me how you’ve been,” Marluxia said darkly, casting a glare at Xehanort’s sleeping figure, “but your muscles are crying out for protein. I assume you can eat solid foods. Otherwise, I just wasted a steak.”
Xehanort stirred at the sound of Marluxia’s voice. Was he dreaming? He opened his eyes, only to see the semi-angelic figure of a very irritated Nobody in a white dress glaring at him.
“Well, good morning to you too. Care to explain this?” the pink-haired Nobody asked without preamble, gesturing to Braig. Xehanort groaned and rolled over, pulling the covers over his head.
“Fine. I can wait. But I do expect an explanation eventually,” Marluxia grumbled as he went back to the kitchen to toss the defrosted steak into the frying pan.
Xehanort muttered something, muffled by the covers, that sounded suspiciously like "Screw you too."
---
OCTOBER 10
Braig groaned and oofed as he was disturbed, having fallen asleep on the toilet, and groaned. "Godammit." He sighed and forced himself up to wipe, shakily, and attempt to clean up. He failed half way through and flopped back on the toilet until he heard Marluxia come in.
His eyes opened wide and before he realized it, he was lifted and carried back into bed, laying next to Xehanort... Both of them being scolded viciously. "What's there to explain..." He said gruffly, and moved somewhat to tuck himself under the blankets with Xehanort... "I didn't die." He murmured and draped an arm around Xehanort’s hip... Sighing against his neck...
---
OCTOBER 11
"Well, yes, that much is obvious," Marluxia muttered impatiently. "But what didn't you die FROM? What the hell happened to you, Braig? Because the last thing I remember was that we were on our honeymoon and then you were gone. I thought you'd left us. And then when I didn't hear from Xehanort for weeks, I thought you'd just left me." He tried to keep the irritation in his voice to a minimum-- he'd always known Braig had preferred Xehanort to him, which was why he'd assumed Braig had left him. It was what he'd told Saïx anyway-- that he'd been abandoned on his honeymoon-- and Saïx had been surprisingly... But now was not the time to think about that.
Xehanort snuggled back against Braig, not really wanting to get into it with Marluxia. He knew the Nobody was insane, dressing up like a ghost and hovering around the castles like... well, like a ghost. Arguing with insane Nobodies wasn't Xehanort's idea of a good time, and besides, he had his own things to contend with, like making sure Isa's little boyfriend didn't get in the way of the experiments and research he was trying to run. It was bad enough that Ansem had vetoed it, but what Ansem didn't know couldn't hurt Xehanort. He'd have to fill Braig in on all this later-- much later, when the other was healthy.
Marluxia stalked back into the kitchen and flipped the steak, then floated back to the bedroom. He sat down on the bed next to Braig, simply observing him, not touching him.
"So what did happen?" he asked, his tone gentler.
---
"I dunno..." He sighed and looked over to Xehanort… "I don't remember much of anything..." He sighed... "It all just feels like a bad dream..." He whispered... "Like... I barely remember myself..." He said softly... "All I really remember was... Feeling adrift in a cold… Shallow water... That refused to heat up... I couldn't move... I couldn't breathe... All I could feel was something pulling at me... At my core... Dragging me into the water, suffocating me..." He shrugged... "Then... I heard a voice… Tellin me it wasn't my time yet… And I just felt cold again... No sound... No sight... No nothin… Just... Complete, suffocating darkness..." He said quietly... "It felt like forever... But... I could feel something in the water with me occasionally... A hand... A touch... And... I could feel Xehanort reach for me... And pull me out and into the warmth again..." He shivered again... Still a bit cold… "I don't know how I ended up like that... I assume I just... Fell and died…" He shrugged, and looked in on Xehanort... "I just... Feel safe now." He whispered and tucked his head into the small of Xehanort’s shoulders. "You'd have to ask Norty what happened in the meantime..." He said tiredly... "Cuz I don't remember shit all..." He lifted his head a bit and peered up at Marluxia... His head quivering before he flopped back into the sheets... "I hear you moved on already..." He whispered... "I'm glad I wasn't worth waitin' fo.r.." He murmured, and laid an arm around Xehanort’s waist.
---
From that, Marluxia gathered that Braig had almost become a Nobody-- no, almost became Xigbar-- but the timeline had rejected him. And Xehanort had known about it, the traitor, and kept the information from Marluxia.
"Oh, I'm sure if Xehanort had anything to say to me, he would have said it already," said Marluxia coldly. "I didn't even know what had happened to you, remember? I figured you'd just left me, like Vexen did. Xehanort didn't tell me jack shit, so of course I moved on. Besides, you don't need me. You never did, actually." Marluxia kept his voice upbeat, as though he were talking about the prospects of a polo match. "You have Xehanort and obviously he doesn't really want to share you, or he would have said something. At least when Saïx is gone, it's because he's doing his job."
Truth be told, it did bother Marluxia a little bit that Saïx worked as hard as he did, but in a way, Marluxia also respected Saïx's dedication and focus. And whenever Saïx checked in, he was always happy to see Marluxia and promised to make up his absence. He didn't have to, which Marluxia told him every time, but Marluxia appreciated the offer itself more than he'd ever admit.
"You know, I told everyone you left me on my honeymoon, because that's what I thought had happened. Xehanort didn't say any differently, didn't even try to contact me, so I guess he wanted me to think that too. Well, he's got you all to himself now, and he's probably better for you anyway, so neither of you really has cause to complain. Anyway, Saïx is good for me. He brings out the best in me when he's around, makes me feel human again. The only problem, of course, is that his absence leaves a gaping void like when I first lost my heart. But that's only if he's gone for more than eight weeks, and then it just takes a few more months for the feeling to go away and for me to go back to being my regular non-self. I am a Nobody, after all. I'm quite adjusted to being hollow."
He went back into the kitchen, put the steak on a plate, and carried it and the proper utensils into the bedroom. "Now eat your steak. I forgive you for leaving me, since you didn't really and you were just comatose, apparently, but I'm still pissed off at Xehanort for not saying anything. But either way, I'm not going to have you starve and collapse into another coma. Eat. Build your strength. At least you're not crippled by depression."
---
"You obviously weren't crippled by depression..." He mumbled, and looked down at the steak awkwardly... He wasn't sure how he was to go about eating it like this, when it was damn near bloody murder to speak. He forced himself to sit up, and leaned over the steak stupidly... Like he was half drunk, barely able to keep his posture... He reached down to pick up the fork, or well... Tried to... Before he fumbled with it, and dropped it on the bed. "Goddamnit…" He sighed and tried a few more times, before he growled a loud curse. He shoved the utensils forward, like a child having a fit, and picked up the steak in his hands, trying to eat it with his fingers. He fought to chew and finally stared up at Marluxia... "I didn't just up and leave you..." He said... His jaw falling slack occasionally... "Ow.. I don't think I ever would have..." He said and stared down at the steak... "There a blender or something in there..?" He asked, "please...?" He stared up at him... The steak tasted heavenly... Despite its not being spiced and such.. Everything about it was divine... He loved how rare it was... At least Marluxia remembered he liked his steak still twitching...
---
"I wasn't crippled by depression?" Marluxia repeated incredulously, standing up. "When I got back to the Castle that Never Was, I was too distraught to even go to my room. I fell asleep in the Grey Area!" And then Saïx had come by, made a snide comment about Marluxia not finding his own bed fit to sleep in, and Marluxia had wound up pouring out everything to the senior Nobody, who had been shockingly kind and understanding.
"What, did you want me to waste away pining for you? Nobodies don't /do/ that," Marluxia informed Braig. "We may not fully exist, but we do what we have to do to survive."
He'd been about to pick up the fork himself and try to feed Braig when the merc picked up the meat in his hands and started to eat it. Alrighty then.
He didn't just up and leave Marluxia? "It certainly felt like it at the time," the pinket said.
He reached for the fork and knife, cutting off a small piece. "Open," he instructed Braig. "And I wouldn't know if there's a blender in here. It's your kitchen, not mine."
---
He sighed a bit and opened his mouth... Hating how dependent he looked... "So moving on to some other guy is something you need to survive?" He asked, and opened his mouth slowly... Expecting to get jabbed in the pallet from that remark. "I would've wasted away pining for you..." He sighed between chews, and looked away...
"Msorry...” He mumbled and glanced to Marluxia... "I... Wish you and Saïx the best.." He whispered and forced himself to swallow painfully, naturally...
"I'm sorry man... I haven't been myself lately...” He said calmly... Feeling bad for snapping at the pinket.
"I don't... Really remember how I acted anymore... I just... I feel like I'm startin fresh...” He said and looked down... "I don't think I could drag more people through that again..." He said... "I'm... Not even sure I want to drag Xehanort through that..." He whispered, and shakily touched along the sheets... "Everything is so unfamiliar now... So... Foreign..." He shrugged... "I just dunno what to say or do." He murmured, and rubbed his forehead... And down his cheek, touching over the scar on his cheek... He withdrew his hand for a moment and looked down at it…. Somewhat shocked…. He shook his head and stared up at Marluxia, and opened his mouth when Marluxia told him to... He sat in silence for what felt like forever...
---
OCTOBER 13
Marluxia had been about to say that he wasn't about to waste his life pining away for someone who wouldn't have given him a second thought, but what Braig said gave him pause.
"If someone leaves me, I'm done with them," he said, "and I did think you'd left me. Perhaps I'm not giving you any credit, but there's nothing for it now. Saïx was there for me and he made me feel more human, I suppose. I let down all my barriers with him and I'm just me. Or maybe I'm Lumaria. When I was with you..." Marluxia speared another piece of steak and held the fork up to Braig patiently. "Don't take this badly, but I felt as though I had to put on a show and be a certain way to entertain you. I felt like an outcast, truth be told, like I had to force my place in your world. I don't mean to make you feel badly with this, and of course I do wish you the best as well. You don't have to worry about me taking revenge against you. I'm going to help you get back to your former glory, yes?"
Xehanort stirred at the sound of his name. "I won't let you leave me behind," he mumbled. "Not after I came in here for nine months and talked to a completely unresponsive body. You're not dragging me through anything. I insist on staying."
Marluxia gestured to Xehanort as if to say "See what I mean?" and "Someone /is/ there for you" simultaneously.
What he actually said was, "What you're supposed to do right now is just to eat and get stronger. We'll figure out the rest later."
---
OCTOBER 25
he sighed, and as Marluxia told him about Saix and his getting along so well together, he pushed the pinkets hand away shakily, and took up the steak in his own hands. "so all my effort into making you feel more human was wasted, obviously." he murmured, and began to eat, looking rather stupid as he did, gnawing at it until a piece broke off. he laid back down next to Xehanort, mumbling a soft apology for not waking up sooner, and for eating like a camel in bed.
he stared down at his gnawed steak and reached under the blanket to gently rub along Xehanort’s hip, and up his shoulder just watching him relax in bed. "neither of you had to put on a show for me… i just…. i guess i just couldn't handle double time…" he whispered, and leaned back into Xehanort. "i couldn't handle what i was supposed to do, and… who went where, and…" he closed his eyes and shook his head, his hair had grown out considerably and was now waving around his face lazily. "it doesn't matter. i fucked up, and you fucked off… simple as that." he said with a grunt, and hid the majority of himself under the sheets.
"sorry i went ahead and wasted your time, Marluxia." he said flatly.
---
OCTOBER 26
"Yes," Marluxia said, "your effort was wasted. I'm more human now without Saïx ever having to try, though of course, it fades away the longer he's gone and I become a Nobody again. But, Braig, it was... fun. For what it's worth." Marluxia shrugged, not wanting to get into another pointless, self-pitying argument centered around Braig's need to feel relevant.
"Anyway, we're friends, so I'm not just going to leave you here. I don't really want to go back to the castle and all my business for the week has been taken care of, so I'll stay and help you get better. Xehanort's done a lot, and he can be there for you in ways that I no longer can, but he doesn't have my expertise in medicinal plants." Marluxia noted this without any hint of smugness. The competition he'd perceived between Xehanort and himself was gone and now, he was just being helpful for the sake of being helpful, and to avoid going back to a home with Saïx not in it, because he was still on that blasted mission and Xemnas had made absolutely no effort to call him back. How Marluxia despised the Organization's superior sometimes!
Xehanort smiled and shook his head, indicating that Braig didn't have to apologise to him. He felt a lot better knowing that Marluxia was never going to rip him up with vines out of jealousy again, and felt that now he could relax and just be with Braig. "You couldn't handle double-time and Marluxia can't handle competition," he murmured. "I saw the expression on his face when Saïx admitted to sleeping with Xemnas to earn his current position of trust as Xemnas's right-hand man."
Marluxia frowned. "Lumaria and Isa were a couple," he informed Xehanort, "so it surprised me that the man I was with first was with someone else after me. That's all. If anyone, I would have expected him to be sleeping with Axel, but when I made a joking comment about it, he disdainfully said he'd never sleep with that 'hothead'. Although... come to think of it, it does make sense..." He trailed off.
Xehanort narrowed his eyes. Apparently his theory that Marluxia would stop trying to provoke him now that he'd let Braig go had just been jossed. He knew what Marluxia was getting at: Isa, Saïx's Somebody, was the research assistant of Xehanort, who was Xemnas's Somebody. But as far as he knew—
"Isa's engaged to Lea," the darker Somebody said flatly.
But it turned out that Marluxia was on a completely different train of thought.
"Obviously either the engagement broke or they got divorced," he snarled, "because Saïx is with /me/." His sapphire eyes glowed topaz for a second, then settled back to their normal ocean blue. Xehanort realised that Marluxia hadn't been trying to make a crack at Xehanort's and Isa's working-status and facepalmed.
"Of course," he said. "My apologies." He shook his head and kissed Braig's cheek. /What the hell just happened to his eyes?/ he thought, but did not say. He didn't want to alarm Braig when Braig was meant to be recovering. "So the Darkness rejected you," he said to his reclaimed lover, trying to get the conversation back on a more helpful track. "Said it 'wasn't your time'. What do you think that meant?"
---
OCTOBER 27
He smiled a bit dipped his head down to kiss Xehanort’s cheek softly and rub along His back slowly, "I don't know what it meant… But it was strange…" He said quietly, glad Xehanort made an effort to change the topic… He gnawed at the steak a few more times and finally gave up, and stuffed what was left into his mouth, forcing himself to chew and swallow as best he could.
He coughed once he got it down and laid down next to Xehanort again, tucking his head into the others shoulder, crawling so he could lay an arm and a leg over the other. He kissed his neck softly and sighed into him, closing his eyes.
"Marluxia." He said softly, and tucked his head into Xehanort’s neck, kissing the skin there tenderly. "You think… I never made you feel human…." He said and closed his eyes… Obviously displeased about the pinket telling him this. He sighed into Xehanort’s neck again and stared in on Xehanort… Comforted by the silveret beneath him. "But you constantly said you were beginning to feel more human when I was with you…" He huffed… Obviously getting himself worked up, though it didn't take much anymore.
"And now… All the effort I've done to make you feel alive… Was wasted, and you just want to waltz back in here and expect that, I ain't gunna get mad?" He asked stiffly and clutched into the thin bedding somewhat.
"The man there… Who spoke to me… In the darkness, he knew me… And he knew you." He said, poking his head out to stare up at Marluxia.
---
Nov 29 2012, 06:15 PM
Xehanort smiled and petted Braig's hair, amazed at how gentle the other was acting.
Marluxia shrugged. "Sure, you brought out some emotion in me, and you made me human in a way, but Saïx makes me want to be a /better/ human," he clarified. "Sometimes it seems as though he and I are the only members of the Organization who can stand each other anymore."
"And that's just it," he continued. "You say you tried to /make/ me feel more human. He doesn't have to put in the effort. I feel things with him that I thought were lost to me forever once I became a Nobody. Anyway, I never said I didn't expect you to get mad. Whatever you feel is up to you, but I don't see what there is to be mad about. It simply came naturally to him to comfort me when he didn't have to. When I came ho-- when I got back to the castle and collapsed in the Grey Area, he could have just scolded me and demand that I go back to my room. Well, he did scold me at first, but then he came over and held me and made me a warm drink. He was... so kind to me. You know," he recounted, smiling, "he let me sneak into his bed. He said it was 'deviant' in a way that he liked, and the last time he was here--"
Marluxia swallowed, his voice catching. The last time Saïx had come home from a mission, he'd taken Marluxia to the Altar of Naught for a picnic and said he'd had a surprise for him-- right before Xemnas had called him away for ANOTHER long mission.
"Anyway, it's not anyone's fault. It's just his natural talent. He knows how to handle me without even trying, and that's just a gift that he has. So there's really no reason for you to be upset about it." Marluxia shook his hair back.
"So tell me. What did this man know about us? And what was his voice like?" he asked, going with the subject change. This was much more interesting to him.
The painful truth was, he couldn't stand to pee, so, he fell back against the toilet, and leaned against the stall wall to sit and pee... Humiliated by that fact, an the fact he couldn't close the door...
---
Marluxia had wandered through the portal in his office closet quite by chance during one of his periodic roams around Castle Oblivion, which he just checked for upkeep nowadays while spending most of his days in Saïx’s quarters, waiting for the berserker to return from his interminable mission.
All he knew at first was that he and his white silk nightgown were now in quite a different dark room. It took him a few moments to recognise it. He blinked a few times, frowning. Xehanort was passed out on the bed and the bathroom door was open. Not bothering to lift the hem of his gown, Marluxia walked over to the bathroom and gazed dispassionately upon the semi-prone figure of the man he’d assumed had left him. As his eye caught the IV, he realised that Braig had been ill.
Marluxia frowned slightly. Why hadn’t Xehanort told him about this? Clearly he’d known, judging by the fact that he was passed out on the bed.
He shook his head and walked out of the bathroom, starting up the burner, greasing a frying pan and tossing a steak in the microwave to defrost. Then he walked back to the bathroom and scooped Braig up, depositing him on the bed next to Xehanort without commenting on his miserable appearance. He knew his own hair was mussed and the sleeves and hem of his gown were frayed. He also probably smelled like Saïx’s linens, which thought gave him a sense of savage satisfaction.
“I don’t know what you’ve been living off of, since /someone/ apparently /forgot/ to tell me how you’ve been,” Marluxia said darkly, casting a glare at Xehanort’s sleeping figure, “but your muscles are crying out for protein. I assume you can eat solid foods. Otherwise, I just wasted a steak.”
Xehanort stirred at the sound of Marluxia’s voice. Was he dreaming? He opened his eyes, only to see the semi-angelic figure of a very irritated Nobody in a white dress glaring at him.
“Well, good morning to you too. Care to explain this?” the pink-haired Nobody asked without preamble, gesturing to Braig. Xehanort groaned and rolled over, pulling the covers over his head.
“Fine. I can wait. But I do expect an explanation eventually,” Marluxia grumbled as he went back to the kitchen to toss the defrosted steak into the frying pan.
Xehanort muttered something, muffled by the covers, that sounded suspiciously like "Screw you too."
---
OCTOBER 10
Braig groaned and oofed as he was disturbed, having fallen asleep on the toilet, and groaned. "Godammit." He sighed and forced himself up to wipe, shakily, and attempt to clean up. He failed half way through and flopped back on the toilet until he heard Marluxia come in.
His eyes opened wide and before he realized it, he was lifted and carried back into bed, laying next to Xehanort... Both of them being scolded viciously. "What's there to explain..." He said gruffly, and moved somewhat to tuck himself under the blankets with Xehanort... "I didn't die." He murmured and draped an arm around Xehanort’s hip... Sighing against his neck...
---
OCTOBER 11
"Well, yes, that much is obvious," Marluxia muttered impatiently. "But what didn't you die FROM? What the hell happened to you, Braig? Because the last thing I remember was that we were on our honeymoon and then you were gone. I thought you'd left us. And then when I didn't hear from Xehanort for weeks, I thought you'd just left me." He tried to keep the irritation in his voice to a minimum-- he'd always known Braig had preferred Xehanort to him, which was why he'd assumed Braig had left him. It was what he'd told Saïx anyway-- that he'd been abandoned on his honeymoon-- and Saïx had been surprisingly... But now was not the time to think about that.
Xehanort snuggled back against Braig, not really wanting to get into it with Marluxia. He knew the Nobody was insane, dressing up like a ghost and hovering around the castles like... well, like a ghost. Arguing with insane Nobodies wasn't Xehanort's idea of a good time, and besides, he had his own things to contend with, like making sure Isa's little boyfriend didn't get in the way of the experiments and research he was trying to run. It was bad enough that Ansem had vetoed it, but what Ansem didn't know couldn't hurt Xehanort. He'd have to fill Braig in on all this later-- much later, when the other was healthy.
Marluxia stalked back into the kitchen and flipped the steak, then floated back to the bedroom. He sat down on the bed next to Braig, simply observing him, not touching him.
"So what did happen?" he asked, his tone gentler.
---
"I dunno..." He sighed and looked over to Xehanort… "I don't remember much of anything..." He sighed... "It all just feels like a bad dream..." He whispered... "Like... I barely remember myself..." He said softly... "All I really remember was... Feeling adrift in a cold… Shallow water... That refused to heat up... I couldn't move... I couldn't breathe... All I could feel was something pulling at me... At my core... Dragging me into the water, suffocating me..." He shrugged... "Then... I heard a voice… Tellin me it wasn't my time yet… And I just felt cold again... No sound... No sight... No nothin… Just... Complete, suffocating darkness..." He said quietly... "It felt like forever... But... I could feel something in the water with me occasionally... A hand... A touch... And... I could feel Xehanort reach for me... And pull me out and into the warmth again..." He shivered again... Still a bit cold… "I don't know how I ended up like that... I assume I just... Fell and died…" He shrugged, and looked in on Xehanort... "I just... Feel safe now." He whispered and tucked his head into the small of Xehanort’s shoulders. "You'd have to ask Norty what happened in the meantime..." He said tiredly... "Cuz I don't remember shit all..." He lifted his head a bit and peered up at Marluxia... His head quivering before he flopped back into the sheets... "I hear you moved on already..." He whispered... "I'm glad I wasn't worth waitin' fo.r.." He murmured, and laid an arm around Xehanort’s waist.
---
From that, Marluxia gathered that Braig had almost become a Nobody-- no, almost became Xigbar-- but the timeline had rejected him. And Xehanort had known about it, the traitor, and kept the information from Marluxia.
"Oh, I'm sure if Xehanort had anything to say to me, he would have said it already," said Marluxia coldly. "I didn't even know what had happened to you, remember? I figured you'd just left me, like Vexen did. Xehanort didn't tell me jack shit, so of course I moved on. Besides, you don't need me. You never did, actually." Marluxia kept his voice upbeat, as though he were talking about the prospects of a polo match. "You have Xehanort and obviously he doesn't really want to share you, or he would have said something. At least when Saïx is gone, it's because he's doing his job."
Truth be told, it did bother Marluxia a little bit that Saïx worked as hard as he did, but in a way, Marluxia also respected Saïx's dedication and focus. And whenever Saïx checked in, he was always happy to see Marluxia and promised to make up his absence. He didn't have to, which Marluxia told him every time, but Marluxia appreciated the offer itself more than he'd ever admit.
"You know, I told everyone you left me on my honeymoon, because that's what I thought had happened. Xehanort didn't say any differently, didn't even try to contact me, so I guess he wanted me to think that too. Well, he's got you all to himself now, and he's probably better for you anyway, so neither of you really has cause to complain. Anyway, Saïx is good for me. He brings out the best in me when he's around, makes me feel human again. The only problem, of course, is that his absence leaves a gaping void like when I first lost my heart. But that's only if he's gone for more than eight weeks, and then it just takes a few more months for the feeling to go away and for me to go back to being my regular non-self. I am a Nobody, after all. I'm quite adjusted to being hollow."
He went back into the kitchen, put the steak on a plate, and carried it and the proper utensils into the bedroom. "Now eat your steak. I forgive you for leaving me, since you didn't really and you were just comatose, apparently, but I'm still pissed off at Xehanort for not saying anything. But either way, I'm not going to have you starve and collapse into another coma. Eat. Build your strength. At least you're not crippled by depression."
---
"You obviously weren't crippled by depression..." He mumbled, and looked down at the steak awkwardly... He wasn't sure how he was to go about eating it like this, when it was damn near bloody murder to speak. He forced himself to sit up, and leaned over the steak stupidly... Like he was half drunk, barely able to keep his posture... He reached down to pick up the fork, or well... Tried to... Before he fumbled with it, and dropped it on the bed. "Goddamnit…" He sighed and tried a few more times, before he growled a loud curse. He shoved the utensils forward, like a child having a fit, and picked up the steak in his hands, trying to eat it with his fingers. He fought to chew and finally stared up at Marluxia... "I didn't just up and leave you..." He said... His jaw falling slack occasionally... "Ow.. I don't think I ever would have..." He said and stared down at the steak... "There a blender or something in there..?" He asked, "please...?" He stared up at him... The steak tasted heavenly... Despite its not being spiced and such.. Everything about it was divine... He loved how rare it was... At least Marluxia remembered he liked his steak still twitching...
---
"I wasn't crippled by depression?" Marluxia repeated incredulously, standing up. "When I got back to the Castle that Never Was, I was too distraught to even go to my room. I fell asleep in the Grey Area!" And then Saïx had come by, made a snide comment about Marluxia not finding his own bed fit to sleep in, and Marluxia had wound up pouring out everything to the senior Nobody, who had been shockingly kind and understanding.
"What, did you want me to waste away pining for you? Nobodies don't /do/ that," Marluxia informed Braig. "We may not fully exist, but we do what we have to do to survive."
He'd been about to pick up the fork himself and try to feed Braig when the merc picked up the meat in his hands and started to eat it. Alrighty then.
He didn't just up and leave Marluxia? "It certainly felt like it at the time," the pinket said.
He reached for the fork and knife, cutting off a small piece. "Open," he instructed Braig. "And I wouldn't know if there's a blender in here. It's your kitchen, not mine."
---
He sighed a bit and opened his mouth... Hating how dependent he looked... "So moving on to some other guy is something you need to survive?" He asked, and opened his mouth slowly... Expecting to get jabbed in the pallet from that remark. "I would've wasted away pining for you..." He sighed between chews, and looked away...
"Msorry...” He mumbled and glanced to Marluxia... "I... Wish you and Saïx the best.." He whispered and forced himself to swallow painfully, naturally...
"I'm sorry man... I haven't been myself lately...” He said calmly... Feeling bad for snapping at the pinket.
"I don't... Really remember how I acted anymore... I just... I feel like I'm startin fresh...” He said and looked down... "I don't think I could drag more people through that again..." He said... "I'm... Not even sure I want to drag Xehanort through that..." He whispered, and shakily touched along the sheets... "Everything is so unfamiliar now... So... Foreign..." He shrugged... "I just dunno what to say or do." He murmured, and rubbed his forehead... And down his cheek, touching over the scar on his cheek... He withdrew his hand for a moment and looked down at it…. Somewhat shocked…. He shook his head and stared up at Marluxia, and opened his mouth when Marluxia told him to... He sat in silence for what felt like forever...
---
OCTOBER 13
Marluxia had been about to say that he wasn't about to waste his life pining away for someone who wouldn't have given him a second thought, but what Braig said gave him pause.
"If someone leaves me, I'm done with them," he said, "and I did think you'd left me. Perhaps I'm not giving you any credit, but there's nothing for it now. Saïx was there for me and he made me feel more human, I suppose. I let down all my barriers with him and I'm just me. Or maybe I'm Lumaria. When I was with you..." Marluxia speared another piece of steak and held the fork up to Braig patiently. "Don't take this badly, but I felt as though I had to put on a show and be a certain way to entertain you. I felt like an outcast, truth be told, like I had to force my place in your world. I don't mean to make you feel badly with this, and of course I do wish you the best as well. You don't have to worry about me taking revenge against you. I'm going to help you get back to your former glory, yes?"
Xehanort stirred at the sound of his name. "I won't let you leave me behind," he mumbled. "Not after I came in here for nine months and talked to a completely unresponsive body. You're not dragging me through anything. I insist on staying."
Marluxia gestured to Xehanort as if to say "See what I mean?" and "Someone /is/ there for you" simultaneously.
What he actually said was, "What you're supposed to do right now is just to eat and get stronger. We'll figure out the rest later."
---
OCTOBER 25
he sighed, and as Marluxia told him about Saix and his getting along so well together, he pushed the pinkets hand away shakily, and took up the steak in his own hands. "so all my effort into making you feel more human was wasted, obviously." he murmured, and began to eat, looking rather stupid as he did, gnawing at it until a piece broke off. he laid back down next to Xehanort, mumbling a soft apology for not waking up sooner, and for eating like a camel in bed.
he stared down at his gnawed steak and reached under the blanket to gently rub along Xehanort’s hip, and up his shoulder just watching him relax in bed. "neither of you had to put on a show for me… i just…. i guess i just couldn't handle double time…" he whispered, and leaned back into Xehanort. "i couldn't handle what i was supposed to do, and… who went where, and…" he closed his eyes and shook his head, his hair had grown out considerably and was now waving around his face lazily. "it doesn't matter. i fucked up, and you fucked off… simple as that." he said with a grunt, and hid the majority of himself under the sheets.
"sorry i went ahead and wasted your time, Marluxia." he said flatly.
---
OCTOBER 26
"Yes," Marluxia said, "your effort was wasted. I'm more human now without Saïx ever having to try, though of course, it fades away the longer he's gone and I become a Nobody again. But, Braig, it was... fun. For what it's worth." Marluxia shrugged, not wanting to get into another pointless, self-pitying argument centered around Braig's need to feel relevant.
"Anyway, we're friends, so I'm not just going to leave you here. I don't really want to go back to the castle and all my business for the week has been taken care of, so I'll stay and help you get better. Xehanort's done a lot, and he can be there for you in ways that I no longer can, but he doesn't have my expertise in medicinal plants." Marluxia noted this without any hint of smugness. The competition he'd perceived between Xehanort and himself was gone and now, he was just being helpful for the sake of being helpful, and to avoid going back to a home with Saïx not in it, because he was still on that blasted mission and Xemnas had made absolutely no effort to call him back. How Marluxia despised the Organization's superior sometimes!
Xehanort smiled and shook his head, indicating that Braig didn't have to apologise to him. He felt a lot better knowing that Marluxia was never going to rip him up with vines out of jealousy again, and felt that now he could relax and just be with Braig. "You couldn't handle double-time and Marluxia can't handle competition," he murmured. "I saw the expression on his face when Saïx admitted to sleeping with Xemnas to earn his current position of trust as Xemnas's right-hand man."
Marluxia frowned. "Lumaria and Isa were a couple," he informed Xehanort, "so it surprised me that the man I was with first was with someone else after me. That's all. If anyone, I would have expected him to be sleeping with Axel, but when I made a joking comment about it, he disdainfully said he'd never sleep with that 'hothead'. Although... come to think of it, it does make sense..." He trailed off.
Xehanort narrowed his eyes. Apparently his theory that Marluxia would stop trying to provoke him now that he'd let Braig go had just been jossed. He knew what Marluxia was getting at: Isa, Saïx's Somebody, was the research assistant of Xehanort, who was Xemnas's Somebody. But as far as he knew—
"Isa's engaged to Lea," the darker Somebody said flatly.
But it turned out that Marluxia was on a completely different train of thought.
"Obviously either the engagement broke or they got divorced," he snarled, "because Saïx is with /me/." His sapphire eyes glowed topaz for a second, then settled back to their normal ocean blue. Xehanort realised that Marluxia hadn't been trying to make a crack at Xehanort's and Isa's working-status and facepalmed.
"Of course," he said. "My apologies." He shook his head and kissed Braig's cheek. /What the hell just happened to his eyes?/ he thought, but did not say. He didn't want to alarm Braig when Braig was meant to be recovering. "So the Darkness rejected you," he said to his reclaimed lover, trying to get the conversation back on a more helpful track. "Said it 'wasn't your time'. What do you think that meant?"
---
OCTOBER 27
He smiled a bit dipped his head down to kiss Xehanort’s cheek softly and rub along His back slowly, "I don't know what it meant… But it was strange…" He said quietly, glad Xehanort made an effort to change the topic… He gnawed at the steak a few more times and finally gave up, and stuffed what was left into his mouth, forcing himself to chew and swallow as best he could.
He coughed once he got it down and laid down next to Xehanort again, tucking his head into the others shoulder, crawling so he could lay an arm and a leg over the other. He kissed his neck softly and sighed into him, closing his eyes.
"Marluxia." He said softly, and tucked his head into Xehanort’s neck, kissing the skin there tenderly. "You think… I never made you feel human…." He said and closed his eyes… Obviously displeased about the pinket telling him this. He sighed into Xehanort’s neck again and stared in on Xehanort… Comforted by the silveret beneath him. "But you constantly said you were beginning to feel more human when I was with you…" He huffed… Obviously getting himself worked up, though it didn't take much anymore.
"And now… All the effort I've done to make you feel alive… Was wasted, and you just want to waltz back in here and expect that, I ain't gunna get mad?" He asked stiffly and clutched into the thin bedding somewhat.
"The man there… Who spoke to me… In the darkness, he knew me… And he knew you." He said, poking his head out to stare up at Marluxia.
---
Nov 29 2012, 06:15 PM
Xehanort smiled and petted Braig's hair, amazed at how gentle the other was acting.
Marluxia shrugged. "Sure, you brought out some emotion in me, and you made me human in a way, but Saïx makes me want to be a /better/ human," he clarified. "Sometimes it seems as though he and I are the only members of the Organization who can stand each other anymore."
"And that's just it," he continued. "You say you tried to /make/ me feel more human. He doesn't have to put in the effort. I feel things with him that I thought were lost to me forever once I became a Nobody. Anyway, I never said I didn't expect you to get mad. Whatever you feel is up to you, but I don't see what there is to be mad about. It simply came naturally to him to comfort me when he didn't have to. When I came ho-- when I got back to the castle and collapsed in the Grey Area, he could have just scolded me and demand that I go back to my room. Well, he did scold me at first, but then he came over and held me and made me a warm drink. He was... so kind to me. You know," he recounted, smiling, "he let me sneak into his bed. He said it was 'deviant' in a way that he liked, and the last time he was here--"
Marluxia swallowed, his voice catching. The last time Saïx had come home from a mission, he'd taken Marluxia to the Altar of Naught for a picnic and said he'd had a surprise for him-- right before Xemnas had called him away for ANOTHER long mission.
"Anyway, it's not anyone's fault. It's just his natural talent. He knows how to handle me without even trying, and that's just a gift that he has. So there's really no reason for you to be upset about it." Marluxia shook his hair back.
"So tell me. What did this man know about us? And what was his voice like?" he asked, going with the subject change. This was much more interesting to him.
