Marluxia:
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been... quite a while... since my last confession. Though truthfully, I come not for forgiveness, but for advice. I'm trying to usurp the position of my boss, who is trying to take over the worlds and become a god. What would you suggest I do?
Kotomine:
I see that you like to got straight into the subject. Very well, let us leave away formalities for the present. I will answer your question, with a question of my own. What do you want to do? Would you do, anything to take that boss’ place? If yes, then you already have your answer. Otherwise, it seems you have come to a crossroad. What, are you prepared to do for that? I suppose it is connected to your relationship with that boss of yours. Yes, tell me about that.
Marluxia:
"My relationship with my Superior... Well, I find him attractive, but he's horribly inadequate as a leader, and he doesn't seem to appreciate my flirtations, so I have no use for him." He paused and licked his lips briefly. "You asked what I want to do," the Nobody continued. "I want to take Xemnas's place, because I'm certain I can be a better leader than he is. Yes... I believe I would do anything, but my mind is rather lacking in ideas at the moment, which is why I came to you. Rumour has it that you have beings who might be able to help. 'Servants', I believe they're called. Do you think I might borrow one for my venture?"
Kotomine:
“Everything then. Such a wonderful word. So, in short, you wish to kill him. I could lent you a dog, I.. acquired from a friend. But, are you sure, you won’t regret killing him?”
Marluxia:
"I'm certain I won't regret killing him. I literally haven't the heart to care," Marluxia responded, taking one of the priest's hands and pressing it to his hollow chest to confirm his words. "We are Nobodies, which means that we do not have hearts. We are incapable of guilt or remorse, and regret only that which prevents us from attaining our goals."
Kotomine:
The priest’s eyes opened wide at that explanation. He was no different himself. His heart had been destroyed by Kiritsugu’s gun, 10 years ago. It was only the black mud of the Holy Grail that somehow sustained his body and he continued to live after that. Of course such a thing produces no heartbeat. And such an existence was not entirely human like. Perhaps those beings, were no much different than him as well. He said they do not ‘care’. Something that described his thoughts from a young age. Maybe he was...
-After realizing he had not talked for almost a whole minute, he forcibly regained his composure-
“I see. Then I have to ask. What exactly drives you? With no emotion, you shouldn’t have a goal or a desire. How do you define your existence? I must have the answer. If you must know why, then allow me to return your gesture.”
And the priest took one of the strange visitor’s hands and placed them on /his/ chest.
Marluxia:
Marluxia had been watching the priest’s face, waiting for him to speak. He’d been just about to leave when the other had finally opened his mouth. But the question surprised him so much that it took Marluxia himself almost a minute to answer. ”What… drives us?” he repeated. “We want our hearts back so that we can feel again.” But as he said them, he realised his words did not make sense. He bowed. “Forgive me. It was Xemnas who told us we cannot feel. He has thereby made us dependent on him.”
He paused and looked up at Kotomine, for the man was slightly taller than himself. ”I have found,” he said slowly, choosing his words carefully, “that we are able to feel only the most selfish of emotions, like rage, for example. We become angry when something that is ‘ours’ is taken from us, or when we are prevented from doing what we want. I myself have become frustrated with Xemnas’s subversions; otherwise, you’re quite right— I wouldn’t have the desire to overcome him.” He licked his lips subconsciously, indicating that that last sentence was a bit of a double entendre.
“We define our existence in that we don’t exist. That’s why we are Nobodies. The members of Organization XIII are ‘higher Nobodies,’ whereas our faceless assistants, Dusks, are ‘lower Nobodies’. We higher Nobodies had strong hearts and thus retained our appearances and personalities after we died. We are undead.”
Blue eyes widened as Marluxia sensed the vortex behind Kotomine’s ribs, where his heart should be. And yet, he wasn’t sure if he’d classify this man as a Nobody. He may not be quite human, but surely if Xemnas had known about a man such as this, he would have been recruited into the Organization.
Kotomine:
“Hmph.” A smirk momentarily appeared on the priests lips. Thinking that the other party, could perhaps feel mocked at the notion, he quickly offered an explanation. “Ah, apologies for that short interval. But to think that someone would voluntarily register himself as an undead, to a member of the Holy Church is unthinkable. Our very foundation rests on exterminating vampires and other monsters that defy reason, so if you have said that to someone other than me, this place would have immediately turned to a battlefield.”
And then he started registering the man’s words to his mind. So basically, they act as if they have no soul. But they still possess their mind, so they can decide what they want with means other than what pleases them. An example would be that if someone, used to neglect work to watch his favorite TV program, after turning into a heartless he would probably dedicate more time for his work in order to yield better results, more money, etc. Practicality over sentimentality. At least the way, he said it. The priest started to wonder how that Xemnas thought of this, or if someone higher in their hierarchy existed, what he or she thought about their condition.
“There is one thing I fail to understand though. Are there disadvantages in being as you are now? Why would you wish for your heart back? In retrospect, I can’t think why you wouldn’t, seeing as it was once yours, and you want what you lost/was taken from you. But isn’t more advantageous for you to be like that? Though I suppose, you could have some disadvantages that you could be hiding from someone like me, in which case, I suppose it doesn’t matter.” He was going to ask for more, but a glimpse of the man’s eyes seemed dangerous for just a second. Usually, Kotomine wouldn’t pay it any mind, but the former executor’s instincts, told him, that caution would be necessary while dealing with..Nobodies.
Marluxia:
Marluxia merely smiled at Kotomine’s taunting.
“Well, to think that a Nobody such as myself would ever set foot in a holy church and ask a priest for advice is similarly unthinkable. I’m surprised I didn’t catch fire the second I set foot in here. And, of course, Xemnas would consider a man such as you a heretic, but then, he’s a cult leader, so that’s perhaps understandable.” He tilted his head. ”Come to think of it, you must be a very evil man,” he said thoughtfully. “Xemnas would probably like you, despite the fact that you’re a priest. He is our leader, and there is no-one above him, but he’s opposed by a group of children with a particular weapon against which we are, sadly, vulnerable.” Marluxia pursed his lips. ”I had a plan to capture the strongest of them and use him as our puppet, but something tells me that plan might fall through, and a plan that is not absolutely to my advantage is thusly unacceptable.”
He thought about Kotomine’s question for a moment.
“Well… We want our hearts back so that we can feel again, and so that we can find some enjoyment in life. It is hollow without a heart. Surely you must know that too?” he asked, voicing his assumption.
Hmm… Something gave him pause. Was it really more advantageous to be a Nobody? If they had their hearts back, they’d have consciences as well, and they might begin to regret all their evil deeds. That would be inconvenient. But then, once all that pesky guilt went away, they might actually be able to enjoy life again…! To love, to experience pleasure that wasn’t strictly physical! That was what Marluxia looked forward to.
He decided to ask, just to make sure. ”Would you say that there are more advantages than disadvantages in being literally heartless?” That little smirk was upon his face as he asked his nonetheless sincere question.
Kotomine:
“I think, it is probably more rewarding in a practical sort of sense.”
The priest took a few seconds to phrase it correctly.
“I believe, that emotions, even though they might provide all sorts of positive feelings, are not actually as perfect as most people make them out to be. My most powerful enemy, was a man who locked away his emotions. It was thank to that, that he managed to calculate every enemy’s skills and weaknesses and prepare accordingly so that he could acquire complete and total victory. I lost to that man despite me being stronger altogether. And he is probably not the only person who resorts to that kind of treatment (regarding his/her emotions) so that he could live life the way he wanted to.”
“After all, there are also the bad emotions, sadness, despair. Just a while ago, I had to help someone rethink about suicide. Without emotions, cruel and unproductive thoughts like these, are no more.”
“As for your previous statement, I’ll take the description of ‘evil’ as a compliment. Only my nemesis has called me that.”
Marluxia:
Hmm… Then was Kotomine saying that emotions only got in the way?
“Yes…” Marluxia acknowledged Kotomine’s example with a slight nod. “But he /chose/ to lock his emotions away. We, meaning Organization XIII, didn’t have a choice in the matter. It took us by surprise.” Well, he didn’t know that Xemnas and five other members had chosen to thrust away their own hearts for a dangerous experiment, but if he had, his stance probably wouldn’t have changed.
He tilted his head again. ”Well, I think some of us do feel despair. We feel selfish things, as I said, but we do not feel proper joy or contentment. I believe most of us miss that feeling. You do have a point in that none of us are suicidal, but there are a few who rush headlong into battle without thinking. Well, except for the keyblade and some of each others’ powers, we are nearly invulnerable.”
His smile, which had disappeared momentarily, returned and even brightened. ”You are a very practical man, then, to accept ‘evil’ as a compliment. It is only the self-righteous and, dare I say ‘whiny’, who reject such a description.”
Kotomine:
“I would be interesting into the details as to how someone gets like that. It would, perhaps help me unveil the truth of a question that haunts me, all my life. But, from what I understand, you are in a hurry, correct?”
Kotomine pondered a bit. Giving away Lancer for a bit, shouldn’t be a hassle. He could call him back him wherever he want, and he could use their connection of Master-Servant to look things through Lancer’s eyes, and get a better understanding of the Heartless, and this mysterious organization, even if he didn’t get to meet them himself.
“I suppose, that extremely happy people, would be in total agony, having lost the ability to feel that kind of emotion forever. So in a way, you might be right. Perhaps, being a Nobody suits some, and is a different kind of despair for others. As for the evil? It’s not like one adjective can paint the whole picture of a person, so the more we get, the closer we come to understanding ourselves. Surely, that is a reason to rejoice, no?”
Marluxia:
The details of how someone gets like that… Marluxia lowered his eyes. ”It was an attack by creatures called ‘Heartless’ in a particular group of worlds,” he said quietly. ”They attack defenseless humans and steal their hearts. That’s actually why the Keybladers exist— to oppose the Heartless— but it seems that they view us Nobodies as evil as well, so they oppose us too.”
He looked up again. ”Every day, Xemnas comes closer and closer to complete world domination, and the rest of us come no closer to getting our hearts back. Yes, time is a factor, but I’m also rather impatient,” he admitted.
Something else Kotomine said made Marluxia frown. ”Well, Demyx, another member of the Organization, doesn’t seem to be too bothered. He must have been a very happy person in life. He insists that we still have hearts, but he’s the only one who still thinks so. It does make sense that being a Nobody suits some of us, like Xaldin and Vexen, for example. Xaldin seems to think humans are foolish, and Vexen’s only interested in science.” He paused. ”…This is paradoxical, but Xemnas’s second-in-command, Saïx, is as emotionless as we come, and yet he seems to want his heart back the most.”
Marluxia smiled again. He liked Kotomine’s use of the word ‘rejoice’, especially since he himself had had so little reason to do so lately. ”Yes. I suppose you’re right,” he agreed amenably. ”And it’s certainly true that ‘evil’ is not necessarily incompatible with other adjectives. Tell me, Father, how far have you come in understanding yourself?”
