How is it that Sigefrid can hold me and kiss me so nicely at night but be so cruel during the day? Luci doesn't understand why I insist on maintaining a relationship with him. Are we in a relationship? Skorpa and Dany seem to think so. But he barely touched the food I made for him, and he seemed so resentful when I asked him to eat. Of course, I did later find out Erik and Skorpa were in the hospital. Dagfinn is recovering from a punctured lung. Harley is sniping at Sigefrid about everything, which is adding to Sigefrid's stress, and when he's stressed, he's mean. I really don't like Harley.
Dany has night terrors. I told him Trent used to have them too. What I didn't tell him was that I did too, more recently but still years ago. When Trent dropped out of grad school, I had them every night that I wasn't completely blacked out. But when I was, I would wake up in bed next to someone who kept me safe. Luci. But it's a lot to explain, which is why I didn't try to climb into bed with Dany.
I like Dany. Not as much as the men I'm actually involved with, but with different timing, who knows? He likes me, too, or at least, he's flirted. I rebuffed him for Sigefrid's sake. Again, I don't know if I should consider Sigefrid my boyfriend, but better safe than sorry, right? Which, paradoxically, is why I can't tell him how I really feel about him. It's bound to scare him off. But I've done everything I can to make it clear that my utmost loyalty is to him, including pretending I didn't care that my friends were hurt.
I can be honest here. I was out for blood the moment Sigefrid got hurt, and I grow hungrier for it the more I learn about my friends' injuries. I've been training with Maze and Duckie to learn how to dual-wield Millie and Tillie. I want to help. I want to fight. I want to kill. But I also want to buy them a proper safehouse or two. Somewhere a bunch of bikers would never be expected to live, a gated community, maybe in the Hills. No HOA, but possibly a thriving Nextdoor community on neighborhood watch. It would be a lot more secure and a lot harder to hit.... Don't get me wrong. I love the clubhouse. It's my favorite place in the world now. But it's not safe. If anything else were to happen to anyone but especially Sigefrid, I couldn't live with myself knowing I could have provided a resource but never offered because I was afraid of hurting someone's pride. Maybe I'll ask Roulet about what's on the market that could accommodate all the charters currently in town.
No comments:
Post a Comment